sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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