while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
