can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
