Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just cropdusted the office
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
