awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
farters have to be the big spoon...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
