Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
