that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
