Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She told me I should be a condom model.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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