Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
