just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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