Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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