Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
