I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Alive.
So much puke
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
