Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
