Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
