Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
