I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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