Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i have herpe
just one?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
