there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
