I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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