Redeem this text for a blowjob
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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