Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
