My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
