Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
