WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
