i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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