i think my tv is drunk
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
