He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
