Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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