Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
