I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
