Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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