She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
