OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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