So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
