i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
