this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
