I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
