I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
