but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
