He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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