How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
