it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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