What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
