And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
