What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
