His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
