so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
