I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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