just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
