Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
