I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
