I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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