I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I deserve this hangover.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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